* Scattered thoughts

It's been a busy week! Hercules has been on his best behavior at school lately. He had a field trip on Wednesday and returned with all-5's on his PRIDE report once again. This is a major testament to the wonders of medication. Just a few months ago I was required to accompany him on any field trips or he wasn't allowed to participate. Now he is not only allowed to go unchaperoned, he is earning rave reviews for behavior! GO HERCULES!

However, I do want to make one thing clear - although Hercules needed medication to achieve this, I don't think the medication deserves all the credit for this breakthrough. Because what the medication is showing everyone is that Hercules is and has always been a wonderful, sweet, enjoyable and loveable little boy. It's just that now he's able to suppress his most base impulses and let his best efforts shine forth. I always knew he had it in him, I just didn't know how to help him. I can't stop raving about how ecstatic I am now that we have found that help.

Yesterday, however, I kept Hercules home from school because he'd been up the night before puking his guts out, poor kid. What a mess. Ugh. That was NOT fun. So we both took the day off and Herc slept until 7:30. I'm pretty sure that's a record for him! I decided to skip his meds that day, since I wasn't sure he'd be able to keep anything down (which turned out to be good thinking) and besides, Hercules has always been very docile, cuddly, and subdued when he's sick. There's really no need for the meds, so we skipped it. And the day went very well. He was still throwing up that morning, but after that his food stayed down and he gained momentum throughout the day.

We had an unexpected guest for dinner last night, too. Some new kids have moved into the neighborhood, two boy cousins age 8 and 5 and they've been coming around quite a bit. They're polite and cooperative and I enjoy them a lot. Last night the younger one, D, knocked on our door and told me no one was home at his house and asked if he could come in. I questioned him a little, trying to figure out the situation. Apparently he had been at the Optimist Club around the corner and when he returned, his house was locked and no one was there. So I wrote a note with our address on it, letting his mom know where he was when she got home, and had him stick to his front door (or whichever door they use to get in the house). He spent the rest of the evening with us and seemed to enjoy the chili quite a bit (I didn't tell him it had tofu in it;).

He joined Rio and I for storytime (we just started Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban) and then it was bedtime for Rio. Once I got Rio tucked in, I had D check if his mom was home yet. He looked down the street and saw her car in the driveway and went home happy.

I wonder if she saw my note? I wish she would have come to get him when she got home, but she didn't. These things trouble me. I've been struggling a lot lately with the dynamics in my neighborhood and it's forcing me to take a hard look at my feelings on race and class and socioeconomics and the like. Mostly I want to DO something but I have no idea where to begin. My attempts at befriending certain moms have failed, and I can't help but wonder if they reject me because I'm white? Because they don't perceive me as a peer? Which is not to say that they perceive me as "above" them or "below" them, but just different and so perhaps they don't feel like we can relate to each other. I have to admit I have the same doubts, but I want to try. But when I am rejected, I wonder if I'm offending them by even trying?

I hate not doing something because I'm afraid of offending someone, when my intentions are good. I really want to bridge this divide.

Meanwhile, I just keep on doing what I do - welcoming their kids into my house as much as possible. Since we keep early hours during the week, they don't come around much on school nights. But on weekends when Pa's kids are with us, it's not unusual for us to have 10 or 11 kids at our house, especially when the weather's nice. As my next door neighbor says, they swarm to my house like bees to a honeypot!

I really want to flesh out more of my thoughts on my neighborhood, but I really haven't had the time to do so and I'm not sure I'm going to find it anytime soon. I've also been seriously considering retiring this blog and starting a new one. I feel confined to mommy topics by this one, and there's a lot more I'd like to write about. There's always lots of things I WANT to write about, but never enough time. Which makes me think that starting a new blog is a very unrealistic idea. We'll see. My indecision will likely stall me for a few more weeks, if not longer:) Stay tuned!

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