* Troubles

It's been a rough couple of days around here lately, but I'm in better spirits today. The whole head lice/haircut drama escalated to an absurd level of insanity. Basically, the children's mother seems to think that her kids were already lice-free and that I cut her daughter's hair JUST TO SPITE HER. Which she considers child abuse. Yep. And oh yeah, she said that I'm creating a hostile environment for her children. So they won't be staying with us for a while.

Now the lawyers will decide if her claims have any merit. It's very unlikely, but I'm rather cynical when it comes to the justice system, and family law in particular.

What really breaks my heart is that the kids backed up their mother's story, even after I showed them the live, wriggling lice that I plucked from their heads. I guess physical evidence wasn't convincing enough, at least not compared to her brainwashing. I wish I had thought to take some pictures of those lice. Stupid lice. Like I have nothing better to do on a Saturday morning than to spend 3 hours plucking imaginary lice from a child's head that isn't even mine.

OK, I should probably shut up now because anything I say can and will be used against me in a court of law. I don't know if she reads this blog, or rather, if she knows about it. Because if she knows about it then she most certainly reads it.

Smile and wave!!

So if my blog is mysteriously shut down without warning, it's probably because I'm consumed in a nasty court battle. More than likely though, all this will blow over and life will resume it's usual insanity. As opposed to this warped insanity.


Anonymous Kari said...

How dramatic was the girl's haircut?

Because in a way, I can see both sides. I wouldn't call what you did child abuse, certainly. You were at your wits (nits?) end, and I can understand why you resorted to haircuts.

But. If I were the girl's mother and really liked her hair the way it was, I'd be hurt, frustrated, and angry.

I wouldn't go to the extent that she has to "battle" you, but it must be very difficult to have another adult take over contol of her daughter's appearance.

Anyway - best of luck, I can understand why you are frustrated and angry yourself for being accused of various things! I hope everyone emerges friendlier in time. It must be very tough to co-parent.

10/22/2005 7:22 PM  
Anonymous renee may said...

thanks, kari. i certainly appreciate your point of view. the unwelcome decision to cut her hair was not made lightly (and btw, she went from shoulder-length hair to a chin-length bob, a haircut she's had in the past).

but here's the thing. first of all, after rio got lice, every night for the next 2 weeks i checked his head. his short, black mohawk made finding them fairly easy, but it was still 2 whole weeks before he came up nit-free and he has been ever since. i know this because i keep checking.

their mother believes her kids were lice free, and i can only conclude that she believes this because she wasn't looking. because if she had bothered to check, she most certainly would have found lice AND nits on at least 2 of them. my stepson already had a short buzzcut, and the large adult lice that i plucked from his head were not difficult to see at all.

so where my stepdaughter was concerned, i had a child whose long blonde hair was full of nits and teeny tiny baby lice. i was faced with a task that took me 2 weeks to accomplish with my own son. i had 2 days to delouse my stepdaughter. not to mention the fact that in her case the nits were not just near the scalp (which is typically where you find them, at the follicle), but all throughout the length of her hair.

in my mind, when you have 6 kids who have been exposed to lice over a period of 4 weeks, you can't be too vigilant. if i had seen the lice problem with my stepkids show any signs of decline, i would have had some confidence that their mom was being equally vigilant. unfortunately, the lice were not decreasing in numbers, but multiplying. sadly, this is precisely the sort of negligence that i have come to expect from their mother. let's just say that they have genuine hygiene issues.

anyway, i've probably already said too much and i know i probably sound defensive. i am defensive! child abuse is a serious accusation. sorry for the long-winded reply, but you made a very valid point and i definitely think it's fair to consider her feelings. but i think the welfare of the kids take precedence over her feelings in this particular situation. and a shitty situation it is, for everyone involved.

10/23/2005 5:43 AM  
Anonymous Kari said...

Right. I never thought what you did was child abuse. It IS a huge deal for her to make such a sweeping accusation.

I was just curious because I know that I would have been sad to have seen my daughter's hair cut. But it sounds like it wasn't all that dramatic, anyway.

I certainly hope that things improve all around. I can't imagine sharing parenting duties with someone not living in my house.

10/25/2005 3:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope everything gets straightened out soon, and that the false accusations are seen for what they are.


10/25/2005 4:04 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

I hope everything works out well for you! It's a sad situation that people have to bring drama like this into other people's lives. =(
Best of luck to you!

10/26/2005 4:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To the woman who is threatening to take court action...

If you are reading this please don't waste my tax money to settle your petty squabble. And please do not insult those who really have suffered child abuse by comparing this situation to theirs. That is outrageous so please stop and think about it for a moment.

10/28/2005 7:30 AM  

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