* Incurable vices

Rio has several vices that I cannot seem to cure him of:
  • Eating chalk - He actually claims to like the taste. He assures me that he only nibbles on the edges. But he does actually eat it. I can always tell when he comes in and his lips are electric blue.
  • Playing with fire - Getting burned is apparently not a sufficient deterrent. Can you say pyromaniac?
  • Turning on the outdoor spigot - And leaving it on. All night. He's currently grounded for this one right now. I can't wait to see our water bill this month.
  • Flirting with strange women - His favorite line is, "Hey lady, you look cute today!" This is, admittedly, his most endearing vice. The best part is that he doesn't just do this with your standard hotties. He's just as likely to approach some middle-aged housewife who just happened to wear a shirt with something sparkly on it that day. Rio loves sparklies! The only reason that this is a problem for me at all is that a)I'm shy and b) he does it EVERYWHERE WE GO.
  • Grabbing everything that catches his eye in the store - And they said this would pass after the terrible two's . . .
  • Sneaking toys and other random stuff to school in his pockets or backpack - Some things his teachers have confiscated: hairclips, jewelry, legos, marbles, flashlights, paperclips, walkie talkies, various action figures, and assorted pirate paraphenalia. Most of this stuff is pretty harmless, but the problem is that Rio will distract himself with it when he's supposed to doing his work or listening to his teacher.
  • Picking up everything he finds on the ground - Once, when Rio was two years old, he picked up a piece of bubble gum that was flattened on the sidewalk and put it in his mouth. I screamed in horror and he thought that was weird. At least he hasn't done that since. But he picks up pretty much everything else.You can see why he's earned the nickname "Little Crow." He just can't resist anything that's shiny, sparkly, or flashy.
  • Putting stuff in his mouth - He's got some sort of oral fixation, I think. He'll chew on anything. He gets mad when I give him a quarter and then I have to confiscate it immediately because he put it in his mouth.
So Rio appears to be irresistibly drawn to fire, water, trash, and women. You can see how I've got my hands full with this one.


Anonymous Fate said...

I'm sorry. I just *had* to chuckle at this one. Some of his vices are a bit disturbing to contemplate dealing with . . . but the flirting one had me grinning. I bet you get a lot of women just loving him too, right?

Girl I think you need to work past this shy thing, cause little Rio ain't gonna have none of it. LMAO!

5/19/2005 9:23 AM  
Anonymous renee may said...

don't i know it! trust me, that boy has been pushing my boundaries since he could talk. he loves to engage people everywhere we go. and yes, the ladies looove him!

and i suppose it's good for me, too:)

5/19/2005 11:03 AM  
Blogger fiercelyfab said...

Oh my this is funny, though yes I can see how you have your hands full!

5/24/2005 9:45 PM  
Anonymous Ron said...

Here is some parenting advise from the wise Jack Handey, "If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

Keep up the good work sis

6/14/2005 6:43 PM  

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